shopandship...and sink, at your peril, the movie (Suspense/Thriller)
Opening Scene (before titles):
The camera covers a dark deep pit and zooms in when a person climbs down the pit, reaches the bottom and starts scraping there.
Titles:
Aramex Pictures presents.... (Dolby / DTS)
Cast: AI (Aramex India), AU (Aramex USA), and ID (the idiot customer)
Special appearance: MM (Aramex Dubai)
Directed by: Free for all
Scene 1:
Location: somewhere near a desert
....Early September 2011
ID: Hello AI, I am planning to buy an electronic equipment from USA costing $..... It will reach your NY shopandship address by early October 2011 and to be shipped to my home address in India. I am coming home on a 2-week vacation in the last week of October 2011. Can you please confirm whether it can be delivered when I am there? I shall send you the Proforma Invoice as well as copy of my bank wire transfer payment made to the supplier, plus an advance payment to you towards freight, duties etc.
AI: You are welcome. No problems at all.
Scene 2:
Location: different, offices, a house, Internet Cafes
...Last week of October 2011/First week of November 2011
ID: Hello AI, what is going on with my shipment?
AI: There have been delays as being a high-value item, it needs an export declaration in USA. Can you please ask your supplier to provide the declaration papers?
AU: Yes, we need it.
ID: I am sorry, you never said it before and now the supplier declines to provide an export declaration as it has been shipped to a local US address and therefore, according to them, the shipper has to do it.
AU: Okay, in that case, ask the supplier to provide some information on their company and products to enable us do the export declaration.
ID: Sorry, the supplier refuses to provide any confidential information like that. So please return the equipment to the supplier so that I can go after my refund. I was not aware of this formality.
AU: Too late, buddy, we had developed some Invoice and managed to send it out of USA.
ID: But it is unacceptable. You have sent the shipment on 5th November after keeping it with you for nearly 3 weeks, and how will I get it before 10th November as agreed and when I return to my workplace?
AI: Hold on. It will take at least 5 days for us to clear and deliver it once it reaches India.
AU: Dont worry, your shipment reaches Jeddah on 7th and though scheduled to leave for India on 10th, we will make sure that it leaves on 8th itself from there.
ID (now getting angry): If your shipment is not delivered before I leave India on 10th, I dont want it and you can please return it to the supplier in USA. I will try for a refund with them.
Scene 3:
Location: Jeddah (Saudi Arabia) Airport:
The camera focuses on a calendar (English, not Arabic) which shows the date as 07th November 2011. A carton is shown, looking forlorn and lost, with a sad background song/music. The calendar changes to 08th November, the carton is still sitting there.
ID: Hello, my instruction still stands. What is happening?
AI (now suddenly getting serious): Hello AU, it looks like we are not going to meet our promise, so please dont ship it to India but return it to USA immediately.
AU: Sorry mate, we cant, it will be sent to India only, if not on 8th then by 10th.
The calendar shows 10th November and the carton is on a conveyor belt loading an airplane.
Scene 4:
Location: An airport in India, offices, house etc.
AI: Today is 10th November. Your goods have just arrived. We will try our best to clear and deliver it tomorrow.
ID: I have postponed my travel to 11th night and cannot extend further. So, in case you are unable to deliver, please return it to the supplier in USA. I have lost my money as well as the goods. I have no choice but to post this experience in hifivision as a lesson for others.
AI: Sorry mate, we can deliver the equipment to you only by 14th Nov. Can you please postpone your trip by 2 days? Or, we can fly you in (at our expenses) on a week-end to help you connect the equipment to your system, or we will fly in any technician to your home and fix it in your absence.
ID: I cant postpone my travel. I also cant accept your magnanimity in those flying offers.
With heavy background music, here enters the MM.
MM: Dont worry chum, my hands are already on the telephones and I assure you I am going to get to the bottom of this and resolve.
Scene 5:
Location: somewhere near a desert
ID: Hello, today is 15th Nov and you still have not delivered it.
AI: We shall deliver it today.
ID: Hello, today is 17th Nov and nothing has happened.
AI: We shall deliver it.
Scene 6:
Location: an Indian city and heavy traffic
AI: Finally we delivered it your home today (19th Nov).
Sound of firecrackers bursting followed by rock music and dance to AR Rehman's music.
Concluding scene:
With only background music, the camera goes back to the pit where the gentleman is still scraping the bottom.
Background sound: I am still digging into the bottom and will come out with what happened, no matter what.
The movie ends with a zoom on an idiotic and tragic face wondering why he had to go through all this. If his expressions are convincing, he should hopefully expect an award for his performance.
P.S. All characters and incidents in this movie are real and facts substantiated with several e-mail communications and hence no apologies offered should someone feel aggrieved.
cheers.
murali
Opening Scene (before titles):
The camera covers a dark deep pit and zooms in when a person climbs down the pit, reaches the bottom and starts scraping there.
Titles:
Aramex Pictures presents.... (Dolby / DTS)
Cast: AI (Aramex India), AU (Aramex USA), and ID (the idiot customer)
Special appearance: MM (Aramex Dubai)
Directed by: Free for all
Scene 1:
Location: somewhere near a desert
....Early September 2011
ID: Hello AI, I am planning to buy an electronic equipment from USA costing $..... It will reach your NY shopandship address by early October 2011 and to be shipped to my home address in India. I am coming home on a 2-week vacation in the last week of October 2011. Can you please confirm whether it can be delivered when I am there? I shall send you the Proforma Invoice as well as copy of my bank wire transfer payment made to the supplier, plus an advance payment to you towards freight, duties etc.
AI: You are welcome. No problems at all.
Scene 2:
Location: different, offices, a house, Internet Cafes
...Last week of October 2011/First week of November 2011
ID: Hello AI, what is going on with my shipment?
AI: There have been delays as being a high-value item, it needs an export declaration in USA. Can you please ask your supplier to provide the declaration papers?
AU: Yes, we need it.
ID: I am sorry, you never said it before and now the supplier declines to provide an export declaration as it has been shipped to a local US address and therefore, according to them, the shipper has to do it.
AU: Okay, in that case, ask the supplier to provide some information on their company and products to enable us do the export declaration.
ID: Sorry, the supplier refuses to provide any confidential information like that. So please return the equipment to the supplier so that I can go after my refund. I was not aware of this formality.
AU: Too late, buddy, we had developed some Invoice and managed to send it out of USA.
ID: But it is unacceptable. You have sent the shipment on 5th November after keeping it with you for nearly 3 weeks, and how will I get it before 10th November as agreed and when I return to my workplace?
AI: Hold on. It will take at least 5 days for us to clear and deliver it once it reaches India.
AU: Dont worry, your shipment reaches Jeddah on 7th and though scheduled to leave for India on 10th, we will make sure that it leaves on 8th itself from there.
ID (now getting angry): If your shipment is not delivered before I leave India on 10th, I dont want it and you can please return it to the supplier in USA. I will try for a refund with them.
Scene 3:
Location: Jeddah (Saudi Arabia) Airport:
The camera focuses on a calendar (English, not Arabic) which shows the date as 07th November 2011. A carton is shown, looking forlorn and lost, with a sad background song/music. The calendar changes to 08th November, the carton is still sitting there.
ID: Hello, my instruction still stands. What is happening?
AI (now suddenly getting serious): Hello AU, it looks like we are not going to meet our promise, so please dont ship it to India but return it to USA immediately.
AU: Sorry mate, we cant, it will be sent to India only, if not on 8th then by 10th.
The calendar shows 10th November and the carton is on a conveyor belt loading an airplane.
Scene 4:
Location: An airport in India, offices, house etc.
AI: Today is 10th November. Your goods have just arrived. We will try our best to clear and deliver it tomorrow.
ID: I have postponed my travel to 11th night and cannot extend further. So, in case you are unable to deliver, please return it to the supplier in USA. I have lost my money as well as the goods. I have no choice but to post this experience in hifivision as a lesson for others.
AI: Sorry mate, we can deliver the equipment to you only by 14th Nov. Can you please postpone your trip by 2 days? Or, we can fly you in (at our expenses) on a week-end to help you connect the equipment to your system, or we will fly in any technician to your home and fix it in your absence.
ID: I cant postpone my travel. I also cant accept your magnanimity in those flying offers.
With heavy background music, here enters the MM.
MM: Dont worry chum, my hands are already on the telephones and I assure you I am going to get to the bottom of this and resolve.
Scene 5:
Location: somewhere near a desert
ID: Hello, today is 15th Nov and you still have not delivered it.
AI: We shall deliver it today.
ID: Hello, today is 17th Nov and nothing has happened.
AI: We shall deliver it.
Scene 6:
Location: an Indian city and heavy traffic
AI: Finally we delivered it your home today (19th Nov).
Sound of firecrackers bursting followed by rock music and dance to AR Rehman's music.
Concluding scene:
With only background music, the camera goes back to the pit where the gentleman is still scraping the bottom.
Background sound: I am still digging into the bottom and will come out with what happened, no matter what.
The movie ends with a zoom on an idiotic and tragic face wondering why he had to go through all this. If his expressions are convincing, he should hopefully expect an award for his performance.
P.S. All characters and incidents in this movie are real and facts substantiated with several e-mail communications and hence no apologies offered should someone feel aggrieved.
cheers.
murali
