2 - What measurement can tell us the sound stage, to genuinely hear whether a drummer was 8ft behind the lead singer on a live stage?
There are various techniques employed with mic positioning during capturing/recording. These recordings are tweaked during the audio mixing exercise by adding reverb, ambient cues, auditory artefacts etc.
When musical instruments are recorded individually, the audio engineer has the flexibility to place the musical instrument in the final mix anywhere on the soundstage.
Space/distance in-between instruments are created by either increasing or decreasing the volume of those instruments in the final mix.
These techniques combined produce a soundstage that is as wide, tall and deep as required.
For example, loud instruments in a mix are perceived as being physically closer. Likewise, a lack of textural detail and ambient effects such as reverberation and delay can cause an instrument to appear far away. Volume, panning, tone, recording technique, performance, and after-effects all play a part in how an instrument’s “location” is perceived by the listener.
This is only one side of the story. Faithful reproduction of a music track is almost impossible; drivers, cabinets, crossovers, electronics, speaker placement, audio file/format/resolution, listening distance, and the room itself becomes a considerable factor in further polluting the original recording. And by no means can anyone know how an original track was "meant" to sound, besides the mastering engineer.
Soundstage exists, it's just a matter of how wide or narrow it is. To achieve a wide soundstage a proper set-up is primary.
Speaker placement and the room will dictate how wide a soundstage one can achieve. And at some point, a soundstage will be limited by the audio recording itself!
And at the risk of being contentious, we can indeed manipulate the texture, colour, dynamics etc., of tracks via speakers and electronics. At times, the attenuation or amplification of a particular frequency or frequencies brought about by the electronics in the chain is what creates an "illusion" of a broad, deep, or tall soundstage. IMO.