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audiophile jokes

prem

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Joined
May 14, 2008
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Here is one i read on one of the other forums

I would have never thought this could happen to me, it always happens to the other guy. I was alone, sitting in my local tavern, and there she was. Just sitting there at the bar, very attractive. She was a 9/10, excellent, perfect condition, no scratches, nicks, or blemishes, and enough inputs to satisfy any man. After many drinks, I decided to get enough courage to speak to her. I approached her, and she was willing to talk! Better yet, she talked audio. I asked her about her system and her music, and boy was she willing! She whispered in my ear that she wanted to sample my equipment! At that point, I realized that she was a 7/10, one or two minor scratches, looked a little used, but well maintained. Perhaps it was the alcohol wearing off, but my desire to tweak her system became overwhelming. I told her that I was a two-channel kind of guy and asked her if she liked anal log. . I was surprised that she didnt walk away. She responded by telling me she liked two channel but wanted to experiment with 5.1!!!, Then she asked me if she could sample my power cord! Without much thinking, and just emotionally reacting, I agreed to audition it! We took the transport over to her place. I had my electoglide fat man ready. It was only broken in my system and I wondered if this was going to work out, be moment of nirvana that I was waiting for. Ive wang chunged too much lately, and had a bad case of DSD, sick of looking at tube traps in magazines, and my cable cooker was broken. It was late, and her place was brightly lit. Upon further inspection, I realized that she was now a 3/10, rather beat up, but all functions work, maybe a knob missing. Still, she had a serious bottom end, great midrange, and not too bright. I walked in the room and saw her system in the good light. I said, nice rack! I noticed she had large cones, and those aurios, properly positioned, well, I better not touch them yet. I was ready to rock her world. She opened up to me, mentioned that she had sampled other mens cords, something that I didnt want to hear. Her experience with the power snakes especially the black mamba and the whale elite really shock me up. The sidewinder with venom upgrade, well, thats gotta be long and hard to maneuver. She claimed good results with the eel and power oval. Boy, I was hoping that her receptacle was clean, I mean, the last thing that I wanted was the grundge, or a bad case of EMI. It was too late to get out the Audioprism sniffer. I got over that quickly. She was too much! I started to get my cord ready for installation, the need to elevate the cord, and to prevent any kind of RFI leakage was important. . I know factually that Electraglide tend to be better as length progresses. No break in needed. Didnt want it to under perform Plug in time... Well what an upgrade path!!!!!! What slam, nirvana! Extremely detailed. What started out as hard and edgy changed to being very liquid. Afterward, She proceeded to give my cord five stars for performance and five stars for value.
 
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Kamal

Active Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2007
Messages
725
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New Delhi
Ha, Ha, Ha!!!
Nice one, Prem!
But you live dangerously.
Wait till our Super Mod sees this....
 

santhosh

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Jul 8, 2009
Messages
2,881
Points
113
Location
Bangalore
Good one Prem !! Thanks for sharing.

@ARJ: Nice one, this is the case in most audiophile's home I guess. My wife thinks it selective hearing, but most times I did not even try to listen:D

Folks, keep them coming:clapping:
 
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The_Falcon

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Dec 3, 2009
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Mumbai
Wow nice post prem. Looks like you read a lot of Mills&Boons with music playing on your High-end system !
 

gobble

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Sep 23, 2008
Messages
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Location
Bangalore
Yesterday I learnt a new audiophile term from KF airlines - IFMS or In-Flight Manoranjan System!! Now does that beat Bose's BAEM ? :lol:

Cheers
 
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srikarkav

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Joined
Feb 8, 2009
Messages
1,086
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Location
chennai
Hi,

What is the favorite birthday gift for an audiophile that does not have a turnrable?


An LP. You will know the boys from the men quickly; the boys will complain they do not have a turntable. The men will proudly inform you they will get a second mortgage shortly to be able to buy the new set to play this beauty...:eek:hyeah:


cheers,
sri
 

unleash_me

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Joined
Oct 1, 2007
Messages
2,047
Points
83
Location
Nostalgia
Top 10 Audiophile Conversion Techniques

.....when non-audiophile family members stare at your speakers and wonder who your real parents are.

1. Start off with, "It's like a live concert in your living room!"

2. Then follow with, "Hi-fi can be yours for under $1000!" and "iPods are the awesomest!"

3. Never, ever talk about power cables. Actually, all cables in general, especially your $6k plutonium interconnects.

4. Play music people will actually enjoy, not strings and female vocals.

5. Work the pop culture angle with, "audio is all the rage with celebrities and musicians." Or just lie, "Johnny Depp owns these speakers."

6. Replace "audition pre-amplifiers" with "hifi-in-a-box."

7. For the young male crowd: "Studies show high quality music is the number one aphrodisiac."

8. For the young female crowd: "Studies show high quality music makes your hair shiny."

9. After playing your rig, have bleach ready to throw in the eyes of people who say, "sounds like my Bose Wave Radio!"

10. Finally, crank up the sub.

by Josh Ray, Dec 22 '06, SonicFlare
 

dinyaar

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Joined
Dec 3, 2007
Messages
1,621
Points
63
Location
Mumbai
Here is one i read on one of the other forums

I would have never thought this could happen to me, it always happens to the other guy. I was alone, sitting in my local tavern, and there she was. Just sitting there at the bar, very attractive. She was a 9/10, excellent, perfect condition, no scratches, nicks, or blemishes, and enough inputs to satisfy any man. After many drinks, I decided to get enough courage to speak to her. I approached her, and she was willing to talk! Better yet, she talked audio. I asked her about her system and her music, and boy was she willing! She whispered in my ear that she wanted to sample my equipment! At that point, I realized that she was a 7/10, one or two minor scratches, looked a little used, but well maintained. Perhaps it was the alcohol wearing off, but my desire to tweak her system became overwhelming. I told her that I was a two-channel kind of guy and asked her if she liked anal log. . I was surprised that she didnt walk away. She responded by telling me she liked two channel but wanted to experiment with 5.1!!!, Then she asked me if she could sample my power cord! Without much thinking, and just emotionally reacting, I agreed to audition it! We took the transport over to her place. I had my electoglide fat man ready. It was only broken in my system and I wondered if this was going to work out, be moment of nirvana that I was waiting for. Ive wang chunged too much lately, and had a bad case of DSD, sick of looking at tube traps in magazines, and my cable cooker was broken. It was late, and her place was brightly lit. Upon further inspection, I realized that she was now a 3/10, rather beat up, but all functions work, maybe a knob missing. Still, she had a serious bottom end, great midrange, and not too bright. I walked in the room and saw her system in the good light. I said, nice rack! I noticed she had large cones, and those aurios, properly positioned, well, I better not touch them yet. I was ready to rock her world. She opened up to me, mentioned that she had sampled other mens cords, something that I didnt want to hear. Her experience with the power snakes especially the black mamba and the whale elite really shock me up. The sidewinder with venom upgrade, well, thats gotta be long and hard to maneuver. She claimed good results with the eel and power oval. Boy, I was hoping that her receptacle was clean, I mean, the last thing that I wanted was the grundge, or a bad case of EMI. It was too late to get out the Audioprism sniffer. I got over that quickly. She was too much! I started to get my cord ready for installation, the need to elevate the cord, and to prevent any kind of RFI leakage was important. . I know factually that Electraglide tend to be better as length progresses. No break in needed. Didnt want it to under perform Plug in time... Well what an upgrade path!!!!!! What slam, nirvana! Extremely detailed. What started out as hard and edgy changed to being very liquid. Afterward, She proceeded to give my cord five stars for performance and five stars for value.
Superb!!!!!!!!!!! Wonder how I missed this
 

suri

New Member
Joined
Mar 15, 2009
Messages
2,287
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Location
kannur
10. Finally, crank up the sub.

yes, this is the one that gets them all - and all thoughts of bose are lost - and all of them go - Wow!!! - how much does this cost??? ( like - HOW MUCH MORE THAN A BOSE!!!?:lol:)
 

soulforged

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Joined
Jul 3, 2009
Messages
1,448
Points
83
Location
Bangalore
Just read this at audiogon -

Audiophile 1: "Did you hear the sad news about Bob; he died of a sudden illness."
Audiophile 2: "That's so sad, what did he have?"
Audiophile 1: " Krell, Thiel, Theta, and Nordost."

:D
 

Spidey

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Joined
Oct 17, 2008
Messages
568
Points
0
Location
India
I dont think we have to search for jokes on net , as there are quite a few good "jokers" (better word "jesters")on our forum .( pardon me, little devil -gobble Sir.)

A joke in todays TOI > One person to other : can u send a pic ( or avatar) of yours , we r playing cards and one card is missing !!
 
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hydra

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Joined
Jun 23, 2010
Messages
1,625
Points
113
Location
Kerala
E-mails from an Asshole

A poor guy trying to troubleshoot his CD Player using the original Japanese manual being trolled over email.

Fair Warning: That website can swallow your time whole. I lost nearly an entire day to that website when I discovered it.
 
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