audiophile jokes

[square_wave]

Just read this at audiogon -

Audiophile 1: "Did you hear the sad news about Bob; he died of a sudden illness."
Audiophile 2: "That's so sad, what did he have?"
Audiophile 1: " Krell, Thiel, Theta, and Nordost."

hehe...h good one

 

[hydra]

Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable ($9999.00 on amazon.com). Read the reviews, they're comedy gold!

Amazon.com: Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable: Electronics

 

[Hiten]

 

[Hiten]

 

[chirag007]

someone asked me by pointing at my Denon 2310. what is this?
me: its AVR
someone : but
me : its Receiver
someone : but
me : It is Audio-Video Receiver
someone : but
me : (oh God please save me :sos: ) It's Amplifier (in layhmen terms) :annoyed:
someone : oh it amplifies video as well!!!!!!!!
me : :sos:

 

[Vijay_s]

Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable ($9999.00 on amazon.com). Read the reviews, they're comedy gold!

Amazon.com: Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable: Electronics

Thanks a lot for sharing this link, you made my day or year :lol:

 

[denom]

Further to the Denon Cable, the 'Helpful Customer Reviews' are even more deadly!!!

Excerpts of a couple:

Transmission of music data at rates faster than the speed of light seemed convenient, until I realized I was hearing the music before I actually wanted to play it. Apparently Denon forgot how accustomed most of us are to unidirectional time and the general laws of physics. I tried to get used to this effect but hearing songs play before I even realized I was in the mood for them just really screwed up my preconceptions of choice and free will. I'm still having a major existential hangover.

Would not purchase again.


This connection isn't sound. If my calculations are correct, it should be sometime around 2007 for whomever is reading this. DO NOT USE THESE CABLES. Something... happens with them. Something came through, something from somewhere else. We were overrun in days, not many of us are left. WE LIVE UNDERGROUND! ONLY YOU CAN STOP IT NOW. SAVE US. DO NOT USE THESE CABLES.

I don't have much time. This connection isn't sound. If my calculations are correct, it should be--


The moment I opened the package music started playing too transparent with mild melodrama.
I sold all my hifi gears including amplifies, speakers, DACs and inter connect. cleaned the hifi rack with hot water and placed this directional cable ... Oh my god it started singing. I dont need any gear only this cable until I say bye to this world.

I heard some Software guys in India used this cable to download Statue of Liberty in 30 seconds. Can someone in US confirm whether it is missing there. If it is still there he might have uploaded it.

While doing a sound check for an DJ gig at a night club in Miami. I uses this Denon cable plugged it in to a server for fast transfer times to my hard drive. The speed was insane. My tracks where coming at the speed of thought. Switch tracks on my Traktor DJ program was a sheer breeze. I could quickly go from one track to another even if I just needed a quick loop from one and got with in a 64th note to another one. But there lied the problem. It was changing faster than my PC 3.3 GB proc, 16 gb Ram could handle. At that rate Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle took over, (yes I know it revolves around Quantum Mechanics, not Audio Mechanics or Doppler Effect. We suspect that it must have so quantum properties). Tachyon where beginning to spill out some how. Since they are faster than light we began to notice that other unplayed song were popping up for a few seconds and then fade out. That was the first sign of the wormhole. From what my road manager has calculated it seems that the cable and the pc produced a worm hole and the bass of the speakers gave the worm hole an unstable rotation. By the time we saw the lights flashing from the bass cabinets it was too late since we had crossed the event horizon and where sucked into the worm hole. My roadie, using Calculations from Carl Sagan and Stephen Hawking hypothesis on rotating worm holes being able to go back in time, has figured that we went back in time about 1 day,but we are out of sync, out of phase with the rest of the world. My road manager thinks we are out of sync becuase we are our on time paradox, and time is try to flush us out. We seem to be also stuck in a basement out side of Lima Peru. The PC seems to be still getting signal from the present time as to this is how we are able to send this transmission. If any one out there reads this please send help, the worm hole is closing. and we are hungry. DO NOT USE THIS ULESS YOU HAVE AWAY TO TRAVEL BACK HOME.

:lol:

 

[hydrovac]

Input Impedance: Definition!

High input impedance is often encountered when the husband is caught by the wife as he tries to bring new speakers or other conspicuous components thru the front door. This can be referred to as crossing the threshold to high input impedance.
For many husbands this is a confounding situation. However, when consulting with other husbands, who have had a similar experience, he can learn how to use an impedance transformer that is essential to overcome the problem.

The best type of transformer which almost always works is DIAMONDS! This lowers input impedance dramatically and depending on the number, size and quality, can keep the impedance low, even for several years.

 

[Maxprocrj]

1) You are an audiophile if you know Bang & Olufsen is from Denmark.
2) You are an audiophile if you laugh at someone who thinks Bose is the best speaker system.

 

[Thad E Ginathom]

You are an audiophile if you think that Bose is something to do with subatomic particles?

(or a physicist, I suppose)

 

[vinod_david]

 

[vinod_david]

 

[Thad E Ginathom]

...Oh, mid-level, then.

Real equipment doesn't begin to sound good until the blood of the first-born son of the family has been shed. Fine tuning can be done with grandparents

 

[vinod_david]

 

[prepress]

hahaha, this is the best way.

 

[vinod_david]

 

[Maxprocrj]

 

[vinod_david]

 

[kapvin]

...Oh, mid-level, then.

Real equipment doesn't begin to sound good until the blood of the first-born son of the family has been shed. Fine tuning can be done with grandparents

:lol::lol::clapping::clapping:

 

[vinod_david]