Road rage???

[thevortex]

Ram - I am glad that everybody is safe and sound and that your wife is keeping well.

But I really think you ought not to have taken the risk of chasing the guy up and forcing him to brake and all that. What if he had not braked? What if he had bumped up behind you? That would have been a huge risk for your future baby! I am not saying I would have done anything different if I were you. But sometimes with these things it is better for us to not be ourselves for a short amount of time.

Just so you know the potential risk of confrontation I will narrate an incident. Almost a year ago, on a Saturday, I started my car in an ebullient mood to travel to the Marina ground for a game of cricket. It was rare for us to play on a Saturday. In a narrow stretch of road, just a couple of streets from my residence, there was a Santro coming from the opposite side. I gave him as much room as I could on the left and when I could go no farther I stopped. However the Santro guy was in no mood to stop and simply tried to muscle past. Result - the vehicles scraped on the sides. Now - I pulled the mirror down, stuck my head out to see what had happened and simply uttered two words - Enna avasaram? (What is the hurry?). A burly hand reached out of the rear door of the Santro to give me a cuff on the face! I was shocked. The next moment, 4 guys stepped out of the Santro, all ready to make trouble. I thought I should do the right thing and move out - discretion is the better part of valour and all that. And I did push off. When I got to the main road (after verifying that they were not in pursuit) I stopped the car to assess the damage to the sides. Mistake. The Santro guys were slow on the uptake but they were indeed following. Now they also had two other burly guys on a Pulsar giving chase. Now, I tried accelerating. But I had lost steam by stepping out of the vehicle. Next moment I know, the Pulsar guy had stopped a jeep that was going in front of me - forcing me to stop. The guy who cuffed me, took a big brick and broke the rear window of my car. They then dragged me out and had their way with me for about 5 minutes (or so I think). Even if I had wanted to, I could not retaliate. They were 6 of them against me. This was all on a main road. There was a crowd watching but nobody came forward to stop the 'action'. Finally some good soul seems to have informed the police who were not more than a couple of hundred yards away. I had a head injury (one of the guys had hit me on the back of the head with the car key which had gouged the scalp and I was bleeding profusely). The guys were professionals - that much I knew because they made sure they did not hit me in a way that broke bones or teeth, but made sure there was pain.

By that time, my friends had also come over and it was threatening to get real ugly. That was when it came to light that the guy driving the Santro was a DMK party (political party) member and he was also the area councilor! The police were very deferential towards him. Undaunted I wanted to file a case against them. My friends though, after coming to know his credentials were set on dropping the entire case. Even the police advised against that. But I was having none of that. I called up one of my relatives who is a lawyer in the High Court. As soon as I mentioned the credentials of the offender, he simply said - forget it. Dont do it. With so much pressure on me, I relented - to my regret at that time - and did not push for the case. My friends went and talked to the guy and secured compensation for the vehicle and that was that.

What can a single man do against such forces? Think about this the next time something like this happens. On my part I have taken to carrying a jack or a hammer or a cricket stump with me at all times in the car after this incident. Not that it is going to help if there are 4 or 6 guys coming at a time. But something is better than nothing.

Moral I guess, is - dont take a risk. You never know what might happen. Especially with your family beside you. The main reason I did not pursue any case with these guys was because my family in the same area that this guy was the councilor of!

Later on I came to know that these were notorious thugs - all having criminal cases against them. It figures...

 

[cmsajith]

By God's grace nothing happened. I think you dont have to worry about the incident and better forget it and move on as there is no point in doing a postmartom of the incident. Enough is enough, as you cannot change anything on the incident. But I would say , in future its better avoid these kind of morons, there are lot of chances for surprises, this time your luck helped you.

I remember when I was in chennai (around 7 years back, was staying with my sister and brother-in-law @ annanagar and working near vadapalani) i had an incident and my luck helped me to handle the situation. After a movie @satyam, we were looking for an auto and we refused to take one as he was asking 4 times more, we said no. That moron while leaving in anger, tried to hit me from my side and luckily i could escape as i could somehow felt something was coming towards me from backside, but at the same time i could grab him on his collar and dragged him down and he started asking sorry, auto went a little bit forward also. With that itself all the auto guys came there but they were also the witness of this incident they also supported me (to my luck), otherwise it would have been a different story, as we all know about the auto guys.

Another incident in bangalore when i was returning home from office, one Eicher mini lorry was honking continuously behind me and i could see him taking sudden left and right track changing behind my car and he passed me through the left and somehow i couldnt see him as it was night time, but luckily i could save my car from hitting the left side of the bonnet (it would have caused a major accident as hitting the front left side would throw the car like throwing a stone). And he didnt stop there and was doing the same thing with another car. But that car tried to chase him and stopped him by parking the car infront of the lorry (To me, that guy also looks like a goon), opened the door and hit his face so badly. But he had to pay for that when he dragged the drunk driver (from the height) to the road. The lorry's engine was not stopped and was not in neutral. When the driver was dragged, suddenly the lorry jumped towards the car (may be idling was high for the lorry) and hit the car and the car got damaged. On seeing that, the car driver was crusing the other guy under his feets not even considering him as a human eventhough the driver was crying for help. I couldnt see that anymore and i left immediately. But at the end of the day what all unforeseen events happened because of xx/yy (whoever did) and the loss was there on both the sides.

Another incident was also at night in a traffic signal, one palio driver was arguing with another maruthi esteem driver as he was about to hit the car while overtaking from left. When the signal was green, the esteem guy stopped the other car by parking infront of his car and opened the boot and TOOK AN IRON ROD and was about to hit the other guy, the poeple on the road helped him by covering him and tried to calm the esteem driver and asked both of them to leave. To my surprise, the Palio was KA regn whereas the Esteem was TN regn, to behave like this in another state, he should have been a goon or something similar. So its always better avoid these morons, eventhough my blood also boils when i face these kind of situations, but my wife always tries to discourage eventhough she gets a verbal treatment from me for stopping me, but I am really thankful to her for saving me from those goons.

 

[avidyarthy]

It is very difficult to keep a 'sane' head atop the shoulders, most of the time, on most Indian roads ...... more so, in 'Jat' and 'Gujjar' dominated taxi operator ply zones in NCR.

I believe, everything boils down to one thing ie. basic education levels. Definitely, DO NOT want to show down any community, just stating facts. These guys cannot reason, cannot follow rules - any rules .... not only traffic. Our 'LAND'S' history says so .... and the 20th ..... now, the 21st century has'nt brought in any civility in most of them.

Unfortunately, even the Police department is overflowing with them. So, who is to bell the cat?

So, boils down to one thing ..... keep quiet ..... look the other way .... do not answer back to the curses thrown at you, even if it is not your mistake. You are 'sufficiently' educated .... a family man ..... a family man does not settle scores with his fists.

Lately, I have found my hidden (kept under my driving seat) 'kukri' missing. Wifey had removed it ....... out of fear .... what would happen to her and the children if I ever got to actually use it on the roads ...... me being a hot-headed dude ..... who also lets loose the choicest expletives on any road offenders.

I guess, carrying a 0.32 automatic should be my target now, of course, without the wifey knowing that ......

 

[cmsajith]

I think the best choice would be a pepper spray so that it wont hurt them physically and better escape asap. Dont use anything to hit them as they will be having unexpected arms with them.

 

[Kittu]

Ram,

No point in looking back or expecting views on what happened or did right or wrong.. Jo hogaya so hogaya... It would be difficult for some one to react or take clinical approach with the state of mind you were in at that point of time. Now leave all that behind ... listen to some good music................ Go out some place nice and spend some quality time forget all this ....

And go watch inception movie this weekend


Kittu.

 

[allajunaki]

Hi MBR,
A part of me says, right the guy deserves it. And the other tells that you put urself and ur wife in grave danger by A. Speeding ( U know how indian roads are), and B. By punching the guy.

But on the flip side, there comes a moment when the rage really gets to our head. No matter how sensible we claim, or how controlled we are.

Many a times you come across such unruly drivers and unruly people. The best thing you can do is let them go. ( I myself have not practiced that on many occasions, I have flipped fingers and shouted stuff at ppl like that on a few instances).
As much as you want to punch him, we, on the virtue of being good people, cannot wash our guilt so easily. So for our sake we should let them go.

My honest and humble request is, let it go. Whatever you did, you did it out of concern, but it was not well thought out. So lets just leave it at that.

 

[longshanks]

What you did was right, the guy absolutely deserved it.

Many times i have faced similar kind of issue with the MTC bus and some Call center vehicle trying to squeeze my car, forcing me to move away may be over the side walk or another car while there no room for him to pass by. Specially when the traffic moves slow some guys don't want to wait and just want play demolition derby, i guess they should either get a chopper or a bicycle.

 

[subhash]

congrats ,Madbullram you did the right thing
that jerk deserved`it , only jerks show this kind of urrgency on road and when confronted they turn out total duds
I have had these issues many many times with cab drivers
The latest and the most effective thing to do is once you confront and engage in a heated conversation somehow try to get hold of the jerks ignition keys and scoot or throw it away --------this works very well and is extremely effective :lol:

 

[pragyapriya]

Hi!
What you did was right at that moment.Of course you did for your wife.Now your wife is inside the scan room.I think you lied to your wife.You should talk to her and try to make her understand about that situation.I am sure she will respect your feelings...

 

[rydhun]

Hi Madbullram,

Really sad to hear what happened, and I'm glad you & your family are safe.

I think there are interesting perspectives on this thread. While one side of me says you did the right thing and the Bugger got what he deserved, the fact of the matter is that there are grave risks that impulsive behavior poses. In confrontations like these, anything can happen, and I suggest that you introspect, appreciate the risks and evaluate whether it was worth it. I'm sure you would've already figured out it ISN'T. My advice to you would be to not lose this experience, make a resolve to control your emotions on the road, and move on. It might seem like cowardice to some, but the question to answer is whether you value your life & your family's happiness more than your Ego? I'm sure your family won't judge you if you walked away from a Situation for your and their safety. And other peoples' judgment doesn't matter, Believe me!

-rydhun

 

[psychotropic]

I think Ram understands that he was taking a risk by the course of action that he adopted. And that he acted in rage. Ram, have a look at this article, about 'losing your cool' in the New York Times. It's quite interesting
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/06/health/06mind.html?_r=1&scp=85&sq=obama&st=nyt

It's okay to lose your cool once in a way, but I am fairly sure that this experience would have taught you the lesson that you should also let pragmatism and caution dictate your course of action he next time something like this happens. Please don't stress about what happened. There's no good that is going to come from that. It's over, you've learnt your lessons. Now move on! all the best.

 

[chandruybl]

That waz a superb reply Pshyco,i go with you.

Cheers

Chandru:clapping:

 

[yrk1969]

It's okay to lose your cool once in a way, but I am fairly sure that this experience would have taught you the lesson that you should also let pragmatism and caution dictate your course of action he next time something like this happens. Please don't stress about what happened. There's no good that is going to come from that. It's over, you've learnt your lessons. Now move on! all the best.

Agree 100%. Next time try to take deep breath and move on...

 

[madbullram]

hi all: Thanks a lot for all your perspective.

Yes, he did wrong, he deserved, he might be driving correctly now, he might be more careful, may be I even saved 1 or 2 lives by teaching him a lesson.

But the bottom line is, what i did was plain stupid, idiotic, and very very immature and in fact I had put my wife in more danger than what he had put us in.

A real lesson for me and I am sure I will never ever let rage take over me until and unless its absolutely necessary. Hope this acts as a pointer or helps someone.

The day this happened itself I decided whats right. But I wanted to share this with my fellow HFVians so that if anyone gets into a situation like this knows what right.

 

[sachin_k5]

Aaahhaa !! Whatever you did Ram is reaction to a threating situation and as humans, like any other animal, we adopt a fight or flight response. The prefrontal cortex (the part of the brain which handles logic) is flooded with cortisol from Amygdala (the part of the brain which handles emotions) and anger (an emotion) results. Whatever you did was a normal human behaviour which most of us would have exhibited.
With a practice a person can make his prefrontal cortex to stay always in control and not get flooded with emotions.

In a situation like this a controlled human would have assessed his risk versus returns.The risks were 1) driving with a pregnant lady at 90kmph 2) The other car could have drunk and armed passengers causing harm to you and your family 3) Waste of time

The returns were
1) Joy of settling the scores for giving you the threat hyeah:

How the risks could have been mitigated:
1) Drop wife at a shop or somewhere before starting the chase
2) Do a pre assessment of what kind of people are in the car before landing the punch :lol:

 

[denom]

Aaahhaa !! Whatever you did Ram is reaction to a threating situation and as humans, like any other animal, we adopt a fight or flight response. The prefrontal cortex (the part of the brain which handles logic) is flooded with cortisol from Amygdala (the part of the brain which handles emotions) and anger (an emotion) results. Whatever you did was a normal human behaviour which most of us would have exhibited.
With a practice a person can make his prefrontal cortex to stay always in control and not get flooded with emotions.

In a situation like this a controlled human would have assessed his risk versus returns.The risks were 1) driving with a pregnant lady at 90kmph 2) The other car could have drunk and armed passengers causing harm to you and your family 3) Waste of time

The returns were
1) Joy of settling the scores for giving you the threat hyeah:

How the risks could have been mitigated:
1) Drop wife at a shop or somewhere before starting the chase
2) Do a pre assessment of what kind of people are in the car before landing the punch :lol:

Waah Sachin bhai, you are now our 'OAA' on HFV - 'Official Analysis Anandan'

 

[Spidey]

The returns were
1) Joy of settling the scores for giving you the threat hyeah:

How the risks could have been mitigated:
1) Drop wife at a shop or somewhere before starting the chase
2) Do a pre assessment of what kind of people are in the car before landing the punch :lol:

I dont want say what MBR did was right or wrong.
But i accept the fact he should have left his wife in some safe place and then "settled scores", if he was keen to.

MBR is extremely LUCKY the guy in front of him was a weak/timid guy. If he had been super-agressive,
he would have SMASHED MBR's car, even hit his wife, not to speak of expletives and foul words.
Maybe both MBR and his wife WOULD HAVE LANDED IN A HOSPITAL injured.

I know a incidenc here where a fight ensued between two guys, the second guy left the scene after a small fight. But what he did later was SCARING. He gathered his goon friends, hunted the first party , went to his home and beat him till the guy had multiple fractures.
What is the use of Police complaint or anything after this incident ??

And legally, the POLICE will BOOK YOU BOTH for breaking peace and rioting in PUBLIC PLACE.


All I can say to MBR and others, DON T TRY THIS (AND YOUR LUCK) AGAIN AND AGAIN ..

I am not advising COWARDICE but between brave, lucky and non-thinking guy there is little difference.

RESPONSE TO AGRESSION / ASSULT is not assult.

In Mumbai, there were cases of ROAD RAGE where either of pary were carrying firearms like revolvers etc..
can u argue with a revolver??

thanks

 

[Spidey]

Moreover ,
In MBR's case, it is outright case of assault and battery against him ; with zero chance of giving any excuse for it in legal way.
It would be open and shut case if the other guy took down MBR's car no and register a complaint.
It would be an uphill or impossible task for MBR to justify his assault.

thanks

 

[suri]

Moreover ,
In MBR's case, it is outright case of assault and battery against him ; with zero chance of giving any excuse for it in legal way.
It would be open and shut case if the other guy took down MBR's car no and register a complaint.
It would be an uphill or impossible task for MBR to justify his assault.

thanks

well-

ABSOLUTELY!!

 

[reju]

Perfect analysis by Spidey!! :clapping: